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The Collaring Ceremony

So you may be asking yourself….

What's a Collaring Ceremony?

I’ve known a couple friends who have had collaring ceremonies, but have not been formally collared myself. (I’m a bit too much of a «free-spirit» for that yet! *wink*) I’ve always wondered about it, though, and look forward to the day when I do receive my own collar from my «one and only», so I’ve asked them about it and did a little research on my own…see the lengths I go to for you? *heehee* A collaring ceremony is comparable to a wedding vow exchange. They can be private, such as an elopement, or public within a bdsm group or just a group of your friends. The idea behind a collaring ceremony is a «claiming» ritual and a coming together; a union of souls, united fully in love and commitment.

Much like a wedding vow exchange, (but with a kinky and fetish twist!) the ceremony is performed with a special collar instead of a wedding ring. The collar is to be a special collar of special significance chosen by the Master to present to his slave upon that day. The collar usually is more elaborate but it doesn’t need to be. The collar should be whatever you feel most comfortable with and has significance to you both. Collaring ceremony collars can be made out leather, stainless steel, nylon webbing — whatever feels right to you both. Generally, however the collars are either stricter, such as with the case of a posture collar, or a more elaborate collar style such as stainless steel or leather with ornamentation with D-rings. One of the more popular collar styles is white leather, which keeps in style with the wedding theme. Whatever the collar is, it needs only to be special to both of you.

The submissive can be dressed in whatever style of clothing the Master desires. Most often the slave is either nude or in special clothing for the event that carry fetish styled overtones such as latex or vinyl. The dress style is to be conveyed to the slave by the Master before the ceremony, to make sure that the undertone of the ceremony is understood.

Before any ceremony takes place there should be an understanding of roles and what is perceived as the power exchange between the two parties. Just as you would have your roles defined before a marriage, the roles should be defined before a collaring ceremony. How comfortable is the submissive with the dominant being dominant? How comfortable does the dominant feel being dominant. Generally is there is a good understanding of this, but it is best to have a conversation and make sure that all roles are clearly defined.

Setting the Mood for a Collaring Ceremony

Candles are the perfect mood enhancer for a collaring ceremony. Not only are they traditionally used in many wedding ceremony, there is the added benefit of aromatherapy and rememberance. Did you know that the sense of smell is the most powerful tool for memories? Make sure the that the scent you use for your candles holds special significance for you. Because of the white color and the traditional feel of white, vanilla candles are a great mood enhancers. (Is it wrong that my mind just went immediately to wax play?… I have something on that here too!) And the best part is that for the rest of your life, when you smell that special scent of vanilla you will think of your special day and the joy and love shared on your collaring ceremony!

Another great mood setter is music. Today, with i-pods and cd’s, making a special mix of music for your big day can really add a lot to your bondage collaring ceremony. Slow songs with sweet lyrics of love or domination would be a great mood setter for your collaring ceremony. While it is one of my favorites, I would not recommend Depeche Mode’s Master and Servant, but it certainly fits the bill. *wink* Whatever song holds meaning for you both, with or without a bondage theme, is the one that you should put on your collaring ceremony mix. And to keep the mood going, you can put your bondage collaring mix on a cd and present it to your lover at your collaring ceremony. Or sometime after, because you might be a bit 'tied-up' for a while… (Oooo-la-LA! *tee-hee*)

Rituals of the Collaring Ceremony:

(These are just examples…one of my friends did this, but the other said they just 'went with the flow'! You can do what you feel is right!) The slave is to kneel in front of the Master. The master then recites his vows, which can be written beforehand or impromptu, depending upon how formal you would like to make your ceremony. After the Master has completed his words, it now the submissive’s turn to recite her vows, which again can be written or impromptu. Once the vows are exchanged the Master places the collar on the slave’s neck and the ceremony is complete. Usually there are few things that happen after that, but I’ll leave the rest of that to the imagination. *wink*


Sample Collaring Vows:
From the Master / Dominant:
I take you _____ for my slave.
I promise to always remember that your submission is a gift and treat it as such.
I promise to love, honor and cherish you
I promise to put your love in my heart and always keep it with me.
I acknowledge my role as your protector and promise to always honor this role.
As I place this collar your neck,
I acknowledge and honor your submission
I acknowledge your willingness to serve me as my loving slave.
I give you this collar fully with love and with joy.
From the Slave / Submissive:
I take you _____ for my Master.
I promise to always remember that my submission is a gift of love to you.
I promise to love, honor and cherish you
I promise to obey you
I promise to put your love in my heart and always keep it with me.
I acknowledge your role as my protector and promise to always honor this role.
As you place this collar on my neck,
I give myself to you completely of my own free will.
I give to you my heart, soul and my body, for we are now one.
I accept this collar fully with love and with joy.


Have fun and make it special for the two of you, whether you make it public with friends or at a club, keep it private in your home or make a big ceremony of it or just a small token of your commitment to each other. Whatever you do will be perfect, because it fits you both perfectly!

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