Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I’m a sophomore in college, & I run a radio show when I’m on campus. I spend as much time as possible outside when I have free time.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
I think sometime in high school? I was poking around online & fell into some shit and it all clicked for me. It’s felt like it’s been a part of me since the beginning, I just didn’t realize what it was until then.
How do you best describe yourself? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn. Please explain your choice.
I’m definitely submissive by nature: when I find myself in that headspace, everything else shuts down, automatically. It’s intoxicating, easy to overwhelm all my other thoughts even over a longer timescale.
Because of that, I find myself getting stuck in really submissive places on occasion (“needing to come up for air”), & it’s made me want to engage more with my sadistic side to see if the feeling’s the same. The label feels too restrictive (...) at times but I’m not particularly dominant enough to call myself a switch yet.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
It used to be entirely physical, but over time I’ve realized it’s less about a consistent set of physical actions & more about pushing whatever my boundaries are at a given moment in a healthy way. Those boundaries can be physical, mental, or emotional. So much of what I like about BDSM is playing with tension & working/messing with power dynamics, and that requires a strong connection with whoever I’m with, which I think is necessarily emotional. Despite that I experience most of the active work as really mental, b/c it’s so steeped in mind games with the other person.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
It feels emotionally separated from the rest of my life, but it’s also on some level always there: so it’s like a parallel to my normal lifestyle, maybe. I definitely process normal life and BDSM really similarly, but they’re separated in my mind, and the headspaces are way different.
What was your best bondage experience?
I ended up in an unexpectedly high-intensity thing with a friend fairly recently and that emotional tension on top of physically being tied up was fantastic.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
It’s really easy to think about the world in one way & not really question that view, but bondage *makes* you change that view, and that’s really valuable. Communication, and thinking about other people as the other half of a relationship, is probably the most concrete way it comes out.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Explore!! As much as possible. Read/watch on your own, talk to people, participate if you’re comfortable, make things happen… even if it turns out you don’t like something, you won’t know unless you engage with it & your relationship to it.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from Sub-Shop.com and why?
My first piece of gear ever was a ball gag from here & it’s FANTASTIC: super simple, super effective.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Just one?... Hypnosis. :)
How do you feel about the return of the 90‘s Mullet Hair Style? Are you for or against and why?
I think if you’re getting a mullet in 2020, you’re aware of the baggage it comes with. Outside of my jurisdiction (and honestly, anyone else’s, at that point.)
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or goofy knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
Good vibes only!
