Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
We run two businesses – an award-winning fitness studio, and a highly regarded public relations and public affairs firm – which means long hours. But, it also means we’re extremely fit and very well-informed. Apparently we’re not humble, given that description, but in fact we kinda are. Humor is a huge part of our lives, too.
How you best describe yourself? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or FuzzyRainbow Unicorn. Please explain your choice.
I’m certainly dominant, but as someone wiser than me once put it, in a great cuffs and collar relationship, the bottom is in fact in charge (and may occasionally grab the paddle).
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
It’s certainly not a lifestyle that exists outside our bedroom. We’re totally private about our love life. I will confess that having some cuffs and collar as a part of our love life is essential. While I can live without it, I choose not to! So it’s something else, and the dynamics change, as our relationship, family and work worlds change. As with most couples, when we were dating and newly married, we were in the sack constantly, and experimenting. Now, even if we have the time, and ample time is required for cuffs and collar, that’s not necessarily the path we choose. My ‘division of labor’ is that leather means I’m in charge; lace means she gets to choose; and good ol’ naked can go any direction.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
I am firmly in Team Orgasms: physical, emotional, psychological. Bondage, I think, gives me the ability to direct the concert – to linger around toes, to kiss around a gag, to feel her lithe body pull and arch against the rope or leather. I love the mounting passion as she starts to strain, shake and quiver. She’s multi-orgasmic, which means a couple hours of buildup won’t end after just one! (For us, climaxes aren’t like the final season of Game of Thrones.) To emphasize: we can accomplish this without cuffs and collar, too.
What was your best bondage experience?
Nothing quite equals when my lovely wife gets home before me and puts on some leather or lace lingerie – knowing full well what’ll happen next. Turns me on just thinking about it. Then there’s the first time she wore cuffs all night, and I watched her skip lightly from the bedroom to the kitchen the following morning – then back in the bed again. Or when she went to the toy store and brought home a treat. (She never went back; too creepy by half and almost occasioned me going to the place to correct some seriously bad behavior. Instead: I introduced her to sub-shop.)
How do you feel about the Fifty Shades phenomenon?
Well, it showed most people who read them or watched them just how large a world romance can be. But, when we watched the movie, we both looked at each other and said: “Amateurs.”
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
For me, it’s been a fantasy since childhood. It’s not my only turn-on, but it’s sure fun. The biggest piece of advice I have is to remember to listen to your partner. If she or he says no – well, there’s plenty else to do. But there are plenty of times when other parts of life just plain make it the wrong time to insist on cuffs and collar, or anything, for that matter. That can be tough! I would like to have toys as a preferred choice anytime, while my wife oftentimes likes to keep it “normal”. I do my best to respect her decision, and I admit I don’t always do a great job of that. Important: It’s critical that my partner be trusting: after all, I’m tying her to the bed (or wherever). I do my best to prove a whole lot of love and respect in order to relish this incredible privilege and experience!
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from Sub-Shop.com and why?
It changes over time, but a comfortable collar, a decent bit gag (easy to wear) and lots of soft rope are essentials. A decent breast harness. And thigh-ankle-wrist cuffs. Good quality and comfortable wrist and ankle cuffs that won’t stain skin due to cheap tanning. The leather garters we’re seeing lately are pretty awesome, too. Plus a good paddle.
What’s your favorite cheesy pick-up line?
Hey, the hookers are here! Let’s get this party started!
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or silly knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
A pretty young thing marries an old fossil, expecting him to die soon. She fends him off before marriage, despite his insistence that he’s a pro in bed. On their wedding night, she knows sex is inevitable and figures she might kill him off on the first go-round. She slips under the covers; he makes his entrance, naked, with an enormous hard-on, sporting a massively ribbed condom. He’s got on swimmer’s nose plugs. She, partly disgusted, partly surprised, and partly afraid, asks, “What the hell are the nose plugs for?”
He responds: “Because I can’t stand the smell of burning rubber.”
