Preparing your House for BDSM Play

There are lots of little things you can do to prep the bedroom so that when the time is right you already have the stage set. For instance, plan ahead for a bit of restraint. As I’ve noted, silk or nylon scarves are wonderful—strong and soft at the same time. If you can find them long enough, you may want to tie one end around each bedpost or down on the legs of the bed. Especially if you have a bed where there is a little bit of room on the inside of the frame, they can then just be tucked between the mattress and box spring for when you need them.

Candelabra are wonderful and really set the mood. And, if you have a few burning candles (find a low-temperature wax to start!) bathing the room in a golden light, how about taking one of them to use for hot wax play?

Throw pillows are indispensable for stacking and restacking for sex positions, especially for anal sex missionary style. Take some time to make your den of iniquity welcoming and warm feeling. Check to see that your lamp isn’t within swinging distance of your new flogger. Move things out of the way. There will probably be a good amount of lube flowing around your new dungeon so look for a water soluble one that doesn’t stain. Silicone or oil based massage lubricants can sometimes stain sheets, especially white ones. Have a few of your secondary towels handy, like under the bed or off to the side. You probably don’t want to use your best towels unless you really are into pampering. Get a jar or container for the condoms.

Where are you going to keep your toys? Hanging on a rack in the closet or tucked away in a drawer somewhere? When I have a partner come for a playdate, I have her do the arranging of my toys for me. I find it is a nice way to ease the sub into a play headspace and she gets to think about which way to arrange the toys and which ones she might want me to use on her (Oh, come ON, submissives, you know you have put some really yummy toy you love front and center in the line-up hoping the Dominant or Top will use it on you first!).

You’ll want to keep things neat and presentable. Dirty clothes and dirty plates in your bedroom will turn someone off immensely. Do everyone a favor and clean up—and this goes for personal hygiene as well. Of course, you don’t have to be limited to the bedroom. I like to look for the opportunity to be kinky anywhere. Kitchens have lots of tasty toys one can play with. A pancake flipper makes a very mean spanking instrument for a cook who burned the cookies; an apron has long strings for tying someone’s hands together while you ravish him on the counter. Hallways have nice close quarters your partner can’t escape from; living rooms have couches and ottomans with legs for tying ease. You don’t need massive amounts of room; your devilish mind can come up with all sorts of things even in limited spaces. I once did a small, intimate scene in an airline seat with my submissive on a flight to Montreal in which a few of her fingers were tied to each other with thread to keep her in the right mindset that she was mine and under my control. She still had her hands free for mobility; just two fingers were restrained as a reminder of what was to come when we finally got to our hotel in Old Montreal. This is a perfect example of taking advantage of an opportunity to turn an ordinary situation—in this case, a boring flight—into something that sets the stage for more excitement to come.