The Power of Healing of Sexual Trauma and Reclaiming Your Independence
It is not your fault. That is the first thing I want to tell you. If you are struggling to deal with a past sexual trauma that is somehow still lurking inside your mind, heart, and body, do know that healing is 100% possible. How can healing happen?
Acknowledgement of trauma is the first step. We can only begin to heal when we acknowledge we have experienced pain. Also, similarly accept that none of what happened was, is, and will ever be your fault. Do know that you need not hurry the process of healing. Genuine healing cannot be forced the same way a caterpillar cannot be forced to transform into a butterfly overnight. There is a process one needs to gradually go through. This process comes from allowing one’s self to go through the natural emotional stages of grieving, accepting, healing, and thriving.
Whether it is you who has to heal or someone you know, the same process applies to anyone. Most people experience a similar spectrum of emotions when dealing with trauma. Shame is sadly present. Fortunately, we do know steps to healing.
The experience of sharing is powerful. Giving details of the event is not a requirement. But sharing your feelings of pain is an effective way to allow you to feel it, release it, and let it go. If you do not feel like sharing your painful emotions with others, you do not need to. However, it is important that you feel your emotions. Face it and deal with it. You could do this on your own in the comfort of your own room or private space. I admit that this is not easy. Bringing your shadows into the light takes tons of courage.
One way to have courage is to face your fears. Being brave does not mean the absence of fear. It means still having fear yet not letting it stop you to plod head on. This is not an instant process. It may take months or years to diminish your fears away. That is okay. The important thing is that you continually work at it, and consistently too.
Admittedly, trauma is a monster that rears its ugly head during moments you do not want it to. These could come via intrusive thoughts and uncontrollable emotions. The energy it takes to manage the mental and emotional sludge sexual trauma brings can be overwhelming. It takes an enormous amount of power to keep your body and mind from crashing. At times, being triggered can cause one to self-harm or lash out to others. Forgive yourself if you do.
If you find yourself in this situation, the best thing to do is to meditate. One effective meditation tool is to focus your awareness onto your body. Feel the sensations on your skin. If your mind is filled with thoughts, watch them. See the images in your head as if you are standing back and being an objective witness to it all. Doing these regularly helps you come to terms with your trauma. Slowly but surely, you also get to release them as your body is gaining the strength to face your issues. The body stores memories as much as the brain does. Cells similarly carry the pain of sexual trauma. Meditation by focusing on the minutest details of your pain helps build your emotional and mental muscle.
Trauma results to disassociation. It is the body’s way to come to terms with intense negative experiences. It is critical therefore to bring yourself back to you. Doing this allows you to trust yourself again. You trust your judgments; you listen to your voice. You heed your feelings. You make your own decisions that are for your betterment.
Working on yourself leads to being able to establish healthy boundaries. If we are aware of our body, we give it the respect it deserves. We do not allow others to sully it or abuse it. Becoming grounded keeps us closer to our truths. We know what is proper for us and our lives.
Journaling is another way to battle the thoughts racing through your head. Writing them down forces you to manage them one memory at a time. Dumping all of it on paper helps you literally keep them in manageable ways.
Deep breathing is another way to help your body feel settled and rested. Keeping and writing down positive messages helps remind you to focus on what matters. These little notes to yourself are extremely helpful anytime and every time you suffer from moments when you feel negative or down.
Plus, do not be afraid to reach out to other people for support. When you do, make sure these are people whom you trust. It is best if these individuals are not judgmental and allow you to be who you are. They accept your flaws as much as they accept your positive qualities. Having a solid support system further gives you the strength to face the real world’s rules and difficulties. Please also see a professional to help you deal with this grief, pain and trauma.
All in all, give yourself time to heal. Give yourself space to heal. Devote at least an hour a day to love the parts of you that you didn’t love or forgot to care for. Your journey to becoming whole takes time. Still, it is time worth spent. Healing yourself allows you to spread positive vibes to your immediate family, friends, and community. Remember, when you heal one, you also heal all.
