How To Be A Good Dominant For Your Partner, Part 1


What makes a good dominant? The answer may vary from person to person. But there are some aspects that are universal. These are some characteristics submissives appreciate; a relationship can benefit highly from practicing some of these qualities. Let’s read on so you can be the best dominant you can possibly be:

  • A dominant has to communicate. Communication is probably the basis of any relationship, so it’s not a surprise is highly valuated in a dominant. A dominant will need to speak openly and be open to discuss anything that might arise. They should also be able to communicate their thoughts, desires, needs, expectations…Someone who doesn’t keep the lines of communications open, doesn’t talk and it’s not willing to discuss matters, is not a good dominant.
  • A good dominant must know (or learn) the best possible way to play with the equipment and the toys, especially before trying them on someone. They must be eager to learn and do research on whatever it is they want to try, whether a technique or a prop.
  • Learning about a technique and knowing what they are doing is extremely important for a healthy relationship. They should be careful about the tools they use; they can be particularly harmful if they don’t know how to use them right. And I’m talking about both physical and psychological tools.
  • Just as well, a dominant will also need to understand and know their partner. They should know their submissive outside the play and BDSM role they are engaging. This means a dominant should also take the time to know who they are as a person; their desires, likes, dislikes, etc. Knowing their partner will also be beneficial for the relationship because of the psychological aspect of a D/S relationship.
  • A dominant should also be able to set boundaries and know their own limits, not just the submissive ones. Again, knowledge comes to play in here, just as self-confidence and honesty with one self.


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