Meet Tabby M.

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

I'm 24 years old, and have a bachelors in Multimedia Design and Development. I am currently searching for a position in the media world as a video editor/producer or a host if I could get that! However in the meantime as a hobby of mine I make daily YouTube videos which mostly consists of gaming content, vlogs, and road trips, its all fun for me so my day normally consists of recording, editing, graphic creation, rendering and uploading. If there's time in the day I may live stream some games as well. Pretty typical vanilla day for me. Some days I go out with friends and get dinner or have Smash Brothers Tournaments, I'm really just a gamer at heart. However, twice a month, the local BDSM community has a coffee meet up which I attend and its just so fun. I started attending back in October and they have been so welcoming and so loving since.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

Actually I can't remember exactly when, at a young age I remember finding some duct tape and just having fun. Seeing scenes in movies of people tied up and really liking it (A scene for example, Charlie's Angels, if you seen it, you know the scene ;3). Then at a very young age (Looking back, TOO young) I had a girlfriend who was into tying and teasing. I got a chance to experiment a bit with her and found I had a very submissive side. Didn't really understand bondage or BDSM as a whole till far later in life but those would have to be my first realization of being into bondage.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn sounds adorable however I would definitely say I am a pure blooded submissive. I love being told what to do and being bound helplessly. However I do have a bit of a devious side that likes to come out. Some people call it a brat side. Typically to have fun of her own and although I'm not dominant, I like to play the part till the roles reversed again making it worse for me ;3. See this is why you shouldn't leave me a way out! >.> For me though, its different, Its something I have a hard time explaining to my friends. That bondage isn't about sex for me. It’s very much the experience of the situation. Being totally helpless, in my case typically immobile, and the other person in complete control. Also just because it isn't always about sex for me doesn't mean I don't mind a Hitachi thrown into the mix! :D Bondage is very much the connection between two people and both parties getting what they enjoy, the Dom/me getting the joy of control and the sub getting the joy of helplessness/dominance. Not sure why I am this way, just am, I love the feeling of being restrained and unable to stop what the other person is doing.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

I would definitely say my desire for bondage is mainly emotional but does consist of a physical side as well. As I said the connection between a dominant and their submissive is a beautiful thing. Knowing I am helpless to them and the trust of them having my life in their hands is a magical feeling. Knowing you are helpless to someone else's words and order. However there are still the physical cravings I get of wanting to be bound and tied down. They are mostly satisfied with a little self bondage, safety always in mind though! Sadly I am without a significant other right now so most my adventures are just that, a little self bondage here and there.

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?

BDSM means a lot to me, its not only the connection between to people anymore but also a community. People sharing experiences, understanding each other and in all understanding themselves. I have had many friends who have had a stigma towards their liking for BDSM because they feared what others would think of them, or have had people vocally tell them they are strange for liking such things. Introducing them to the community not only helped them understand it all but also allowed them to feel a sense of community and not feel an outcast when it comes to their kinks or fetishes. What I found so surprising is that BDSM is a far more common kink than people admit, there is a huge taboo over people being open about what they enjoy and its sad to see, however the BDSM community allows people to express themselves to people who understand and that is what I find amazing. To me I would consider it a lifestyle and a community.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

Actually so far every s/o I have been with has had an interest in Bondage. I was very happy to start some people down the rabbit hole of fetishes and kinks. Even helped some of my couple friends find out what they are into. If anything I try to find partners that are open to trying new things or I already know are part of the community. This helps with many conversations down the road and ensures we both get what we're seeking out of a relationship. The most trouble I've had with bondage and relationships is having a partner who is also submissive. Each of us wanting the other to top but one of us having to bite our tongue and dominate for the night. Which isn't all bad, and learned some new rope ties, I tend to find that subs sometimes make the best Dommes because they know exactly where your mind is at and sometimes the most annoying Dommes because they know exactly what buttons to push. -,-

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

My first legitimate bondage experience was with the ex girlfriend of mine previously mentioned. I was young, like early teens, at the time and we were watching some Underworld movie, she was obsessed with vampires so she was always watching them, and so there was a scene where a guy was tied down to a chair and I decided to mention how strange that must be to be unable to move at all. She got the hint and decided to get a scarf and tied my legs together and my arms being my back. I loved every second of it, we started kissing then she helped me up onto the couch and cuddled me as we finished watching the movie. It was pretty adorable. I loved that moment so much just being restrained and in her arms. Nothing much happened as we were young and didn't understand much else.

What was your best bondage experience?

I have a few fun ones but honestly favorite one was back in high school. An ex girlfriend of mine and I were fooling around of course. I asked her to take things a bit farther this time as I wanted to be mummified in duct tape, sadly we didn't have enough so she decided to wrap from my ankles to my knees, then wrap an armbinder of sorts just from wrist to elbow so I was effectively tied down. I told her she could tape my mouth shut and use a scarf to blindfold me and have her fun anyway she wanted. So she did. After about 30 min or so of fun (you REALLY lose sense of time like that!) I started feeling my head getting warm. I was wearing a beanie but it started to feel really warm. I pulled my mouth hard and thanks to sweat the tape came undone and asked her to check my head cause it was hot. What we didn't notice was the candle she had hanging in her room was dripping onto my hat and was slowly covering my hat in wax! She asked me if I was burnt and I said no, she said good and got some more tape and taped my mouth back shut. After that, I felt slight warmth on my thigh, then my stomach, then my chest. I realized she took the candle from the hanging holder and started pouring it on me! It was the most evil yet most satisfying thing I can remember with bondage. My first experience with wax play. I know it shouldn't have been with a store bought candle as melting temperatures are higher and it could have burnt but we were young and experimenting! xD Plus Oh my god that was amazing!

What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?

Is it bad I haven't used one. >.>

I always understood safety but my partners and I have always understood hard limits and communication as a whole. Reading body language and everything and have never had the need for a safeword before. I guess I never really had a limit pushed to the point of needing one. I completely understand when you have a Dominant that wants to push you to your limits but I guess I haven't really been in that situation.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Communication. There are many people out there that have had past experiences which have left them with their own personal scars, being 100% transparent in bondage is the best way to ensure no one gets hurt. If something is causing you pain past what you can take then vocalize it, don't be afraid ever to disappoint someone else because of a limit, understand they are there for you. BDSM should always be a two way street in my mind. If your first getting into bondage ensure you communicate how you feel to your partner. What feels amazing, what doesn't, what you don't want to experience, what you wish to experiment with. It’s an adventure for both of you and you have to be transparent about it.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Take it slow and safety is key. It is so easy to get in over your head and not realize you're going past your own limits. Especially in self-bondage, safety is huge, It is so easy to get lost in the euphoria of being helpless that you can easily forget you are human and most things need another person to get out of. Always have a backup plan, a spare key, a bondage buddy if need be to check on you. Your life is not ever worth putting at risk. That would be my advice, the euphoria is great but be safe about it!

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
I bought my first ballgag from Sub-shop (long time ago before the reopening) and that’s always held a special place in my heart. However favorite toy, my Hitachi I bought at sub shop as well during their end of year sale last year! That thing is so lovely!!! Learning rope harnesses for it and using it with my self bondage has been heavenly!!!

<3 The two of my other favorite gear purchases from sub shop were the Naughty Pink hinged handcuffs <333 I been looking for a good pair without a safety latch and these do the trick amazingly!!!!! Keeping you far more immobile than the typical chain cuffs as well as being super cute! The final of my favorite though is the Black Spandex Full Body Sack! That <333 Although the one I purchased was a little large, with straps and other restraints it is perfect! Also won't lie, it being larger has allowed me to sleep in it a few times and be able to get myself out, Love it! <3

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
I really want to try a vacbed or vaccube <3 Those seem so much fun! Also like any straitjacket, and spread bar.... actually really just want to try everything that restrains, immobilizes, sensory deprives or encases! ^,^. Its all so much fun!!!

What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?

I have a horrible sense of humor, I love anti jokes so I’m going to do that instead! Don't hate me D:

"Why did Mary Fall off the swing?"
"Why?"
"...She had no arms."
See! My humor is messed up but its so good!
......
Okay fine. That's mean. I'll do a knock knock joke. Gahhh x.x

"Knock Knock"
"Whose There?"
"...Not Mary"
Get it! Cause she has....no......I'm going to hell aren't I?

What is Eskimo ice?

What is what? o,o Ummm Facebook says its a Drivethru Icecream place in Oklahoma? Otherwise no idea! Do you know what it is? I'm intrigued now! Also isn't it wrong to say eskimo now? I thought it was, I think. Or is it? But eskimo kisses are still cute D: Can they not be Eskimo kisses anymore? But they're cute! Except when you get to close and just end up slamming noses together and then someone gets a nose bleed and you have to run to the hospital because they may have broken it and the American healthcare system isn't so good so you have to pay so much for the visit. Those bills you can't keep up with and end up going to debt collectors who come and take your things because you don't have disposable income to afford it! Which then causes you overwhelming stress with each bill that comes in and causes you to get sick which then means you have to go to the hospital again and then more bills stack up and soon you lose your house and your car and without your car you lose your job and then your out on the street in the cold winter because you couldn't keep up with the bills then you get asked about knock knock jokes and get upset because you no longer have a door and it just becomes offensive to hear. I mean come on who wants to hear a knock knock joke when you have no door! This all started with Eskimo Ice! So Eskimo Ice is bad! That’s what it is! It’s a slippery slope to being doorless!