Meet Amber

I am a bank teller. I count other people’s money. I like my job, though it could get boring sometimes.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

I have always been kinky. I like it when I restrictmy partner and be a bit rough with him. I love it more when he gets a thrill at being restricted and wants to play rough. I didn’t understand then that the stuff I was doing would qualify as bondage. I was 22 when I learned all about BDSM when a friend invited me to watch a movie about it. I think it was Secretary. After that, I researched about BDSM and I finally understood myself.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

I have a dominant personality. I am playful yet very bossy when in the bedroom. I expect to be obeyed. I have to admit, I’m quite demanding. I’m into sensations. I like spanking.I’ve been told I’m a good spanker. Anything that adds or takes away my partner’s senses is also simulating to me, and – of course – must be stimulating to him as well.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

You can’t go physical without being emotional. What I do stems from what I want to feel inside. I make sure I know what I find pleasurable, and what my partner finds pleasurable. I get a high when my partner feels aroused. I reward him with punishment. I feel rewarded when I punish him. We like that dynamic. It works for us.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

I make sure I choose lovers who are into bondage. I’m very selective. If I sense someone is not into what I’m into or is judgmental of what I am doing, I will politely apologize and move on. It has to be something they’re interested in the way I am too. It has to be fun for us both. There is no point in doing anything when only one is enjoying it.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

I didn’t go into bondage knowing what I know now. At first, I honestly wasn’t sure I knew what I was doing. I made mistakes, definitely. At first I thought I should fit the stereotypical dominatrix who shouts and kicks the door, and orders someone to ‘lick my toes’ - though I do have a foot fetish. But my first bondage experience was not like that. I was with my boyfriend at that time. We were having sex and I was a bit rough on him. He liked that I was caressing him with my feet. I told him I’d like it if he rubbed my feet, and he did! I explored a bit further and told him to lick it. He said he would if I’d let him tie me up in bed. I said yes. Though he was a dom too, he was more a sub. I learned a lot from him.

What was your best bondage experience?

I used a whip on an ex-boyfriend. It got his blood flowing, which also got my blood flowing. I then blindfolded him and tied his hands and feet. I used a pinwheel sensation device on his skin. I lioved that he didn’t know what was happening. I enjoyed it immensely.

What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?

Chocolate. I thought of using “pistachio” but saying that is just a mouthful. Chocolate is way easier.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

It’s the connection. My partner and I must feel like we’re flowing into each other. As if we’re seamlessly connected and can sense what one is feeling, and vice versa. Openness and trust is essential. Practice is too. You’re doing to your partner what he wants done, and you’re doing what you enjoy. This closeness produces a bond that makes both of you become one. It’s cheesy I know but this dynamic produces a good bondage experience.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Practice, practice, practice. You don’t go into this blindfolded and hoping you’d have a good time. Literally you’d be blindfolded but figuratively speaking, you have to know what you’re doing. You must know your partner’s pain threshold. You must have knowledge on the function of different sex gears and tools. You should have an idea on what gives your sub maximum pleasure and minimal pain, or how much pain your sub finds pleasurable. Take time to learn.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

I love the varied options sub-shop has on bondage collars and leashes. My sub loves being lead, and your collars are comfortable on the skin. I love that he likes being pulled around and I love it more that I can do it knowing he’s safe.

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

I want my partner to wear an estim penis chastity when we’re out in a coffee shop. I can’t wait to have his orgasm literally on the palm of my hands as he’s drinking his espresso, or maybe after.I know he’d love it as much as I would.

What is your favorite color of socks to wear?

Pink. You can never go wrong with pink. Also, pink was thought to be a strong color back in the early 1900’s and was used for baby boys, while blue was considered a dainty color fit for infant girls. Pink for me means power.

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

Raw eggs and oatmeal. I mix both and eat it for breakfast. Eggs have protein, vitamin b, lutein and all other minerals your body needs in a day. Oatmeal keeps the eggs palatable, and it has carbs too. Some find this combination weird, but it’s actually a healthy meal.