Meet Sarah

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

I sell real estate. Knowing what my clients want is important, giving them what they want spells the difference on whether I make a sale or not. It’s challenging but fun.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

Me and my girlfriends were in a bridal shower. There were whips, dildos and sex toys everywhere. I chose the whip to play with, for some reason. I loved it so I decided to get one for myself. I showed it to my then boyfriend as a joke. I didn’t think he would be into it but he liked it when I whipped him lightly, and I loved it more when I whipped him a bit hard. He didn’t like the latter much though. But it was then when I realized how much I loved being in charge. Since then, there’s no turning back.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

I am a dominant. My “high” comes from having my sub husband obey my wishes. Luckily, his “high” comes from having his choices taken away. I make him drop to his knees and surrender his free will. I like having a man at my feet voluntarily giving himself to me. Who doesn’t want that? It drives me crazy.

I get a thrill from putting my sub on restraints. It’s physical for me. Taking choices away from my partner is stimulating. This works best if my sub is aroused at being helpless. I feel specially gratified when my sub follows my command every single time.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

No. I have accepted the fact that bondage isn’t for everyone. I had lovers that were appalled at my kink. Obviously, those relationships didn’t last. It took a bit of time to find the one person that loved what I loved. I feel extremely lucky for meeting my sub husband. He prioritises my pleasure. I couldn’t ask for more.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

It was with my then boyfriend who I first used the whip on. I was playing around with it and he played along. I whipped him lightly at first and he enjoyed it. I interpreted it as a sign to continue, so I did. My mistake was that I didn’t try the whip on a pillow or on my skin before I did so on my boyfriend. I should have known how hard is too hard by first trying it on myself. I got too excited and whipped him too hard. He didn’t like it. I naturally apologised. Thankfully, I know better now.

What was your best bondage experience?

The best bondage experience I had was with my now husband. He is a sub through and through. I put him on cuffs and tied him to the wrought iron headboard. Seeing him naked and helpless with his hands over his head made me so wet. I teased him by doing a slow dance while taking my clothes off one by one. He was getting so horny but couldn’t do anything about it, literally. Sexually torturing him was thrilling. I felt powerful at my ability to make him beg and whimper for sexual release.

What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?

I’m not sure if it’s creative, but I use “lemon”. It’s easy and quick to say. And it’s a word my sub and I easily agreed on.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

Many have this misconception that being a female dom gives you full and free rein on anything you want your sub to do. This is wrong. BDSM is not a license for doms to do anything they want. Consent plays a huge part in bondage. If no consent is given, no dom has the right to insist or cajole or do anything the sub doesn’t want done. It’s that simple.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Before you make your sub use a sex toy, you must have an idea how that sex toy works by first trying it on you. I made the mistake of using a whip on my ex boyfriend without knowing how it would feel if I hit him with it. Doms are protectors too in the same way they are the ultimate kink-masters. Bondage should be fun for both dom and sub, if it isn’t, there is no point doing it.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

The large collection of whips on sub-shop gives me comfort and validation that my kink is very well supported. Plus, it comes in different colors.

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

My sub husband and I talked about switching. I have always wondered how it is to be a sub but we haven’t worked out yet on what activity both of us would enjoy. I want to know how it feels like to be tied and teased, and denied orgasm until I’m told I can. Sub-shop’s collection of bondage gears is helping us decide what kind of fun we want. But I have to wait until he is up to it. The wait is killing me and making me excited even more.

Do you like dogs or cats?

Dogs, definitely. Cat poop causes schizophrenia.

Do you speak with your dog?

Yup. I even do baby talk. I can’t help it.