Meet E D

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

I have a quiet life; not many friends but that is a matter of choice. I used to be shy and a dreamer. I am no longer shy but still a dreamer. That means I can create my own “world” outside the one we are living in. During workdays I am a calculator for a construction company.

How you best describe yourself? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn. Please explain your choice.

It is something of a mix between dominant and submissive. I do like to see a woman tied up and gagged but on the other hand want to experience bondage myself. It has something to do with respect for the submissive (I am not looking to humiliate women or “be in control”); once you have been tied up yourself (in my case self-bondage) you get a better notion of what it means to be tied up; also you find out that tight bondage doesn't have to be “torture”. You can make bondage look tight without it being tight and that is the kind of bondage I prefer. After all it is a roleplay, your fantasy fulfilled by a “partner” who trusts and respects you too.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

That must have been around my teen years. Because I was shy I searched for another source to fulfill my “needs”. As Internet was not known to me at that time I started collecting comics and other magazines that showed beautiful women. Not long thereafter I realized it where pictures of women in distress that appealed more to me than those who were not. I also discovered then it were the damsels who were tied up and gagged (fully clothed preferably) that attracted me most.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

Well at first it was mostly physical; my hormones dictated my life more than my mind when I was a teenager. With the passing of the years, it became much more than just that. I now regard it as something that can contribute in a relationship. Although I haven't found the “right one” yet it does foster the bonds you already have with a partner (provided he or she is into bondage too). Bondage requires respect for each other, trust and can deepen the love you feel for each other when you use it properly (that is; with respect for each other’s mind and body).

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?

At first it was a means to “lose the pressure” of hormones. But not long thereafter it became my fantasy world in which I had “contact” with the other sexes (since I still was too shy to make real contact with women; also, because I was very doubtful that anyone would understand or would want to try to understand my preference for bondage). As for now, it seems to be an integral part of me and I have learned to respect and love it as it is.

Can you describe your first bondage experience?

Yes, but I won't; that is mine and mine alone. I can tell you it wasn't a “live” experience; but more one in my fantasy world.

What was your best bondage experience?

Same answer as above.

Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?

Definitely NOT my belly, but if I my believe the comments a received during running training it must be my buttocks.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Keep your self-respect and guard that of your partner; be constantly aware it is a role play. Play it by the rules (respect the other one and use safe words and such) you and your partner agree upon before playing.

Keep a cool head and heart if you can; don't get carried away and lose sight of the rules; as soon as you notice that; stop for a moment and determine if it is still safe to go on. (does your partner still agree with the game?) Or has he/she protested already?)

If you have doubts about that; stop playing and talk with your partner about what happened.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from Sub-Shop.com and why?

There are many but the most favorite is a simple panel gag with a ball inside it. I find that a gag should BE effective not just look like it is. I also like the heavy steel ankle and hand cuffs.

Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or more knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.

I strongly believe that bondage has helped me how to respect other people who are “not like me”. Bondage has taught me to understand myself better (I am not “sick”nor a freak or creep or whatever beautiful colourful names  society comes up with) and as such has helped ME respect OTHERS who also are considered not “normal”  or “different” by the society. I try to understand my fellow human and respect him/her for what he/she is. If you truly can respect a person for the person, he/she is; with all their “faults” than you will find you are loved back because of the person you are. Being into bondage has been my way to discover that virtue in myself and it has made me a better person ever since and my social contacts are warmer and deeper than I ever imagined possible. (especially the ones without bondage in it).