Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I'm a writer by trade. When I'm not working, I'm spending time with my wife and our animals, usually writing or playing video games.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
I was fairly young when I saw a woman in a television show -- which one, I can't remember -- who was kidnapped and tied up in a straitjacket and it made me feel weird things. When I was 15, I got my first computer and dial up Internet and spent a lot of time scouring the Internet to see if there was anyone or any sites dedicated to being tied up. When I realized it wasn't just something strange about me, but there was a whole community out there, I realized how much I enjoyed the prospect and wanted to explore it more.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
I would say switch. When I first discovered bondage, I always liked the idea of being tied up and left in that state by a powerful woman. But there are times when I don't like the idea of being so submissive and would rather be in control. That part of me has only developed over the last few years and my wife and I are enjoying exploring both aspects.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
I would say more physical, for the most part. The stimulation of being tied up — or tying someone up — is very thrilling and arousing. But there are times, like during a weekend after a really hard work week, where being tied down and left helpless is freeing. It's nice to have no worries in that moment.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
It's somewhere between a lifestyle and a diversion. Our interest ebbs and flows, in a sense. Some weeks, we're very into it will engage in BDSM multiple times a week — almost to the point where it is a lifestyle. Then there are some weeks where it's not even really a part of our lives. The idea of having a full-time BDSM lifestyle is enticing and something I would love to explore. But there are too many responsibilities in my life right now to make that a possibility.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Yes. My longtime girlfriend at the time was really into it — in a more casual sense. She liked involving handcuffs during sex, but that was her extent. When we broke up, I worried about finding someone who would even be interested at all. When I met the woman who would later become my wife, I first broached the idea to her by asking if she would try on a straitjacket for a story I was working on. She immediately loved it and we've done much more since.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
I was about 16 years-old when I came across a fetish model's website with a photo set in which she used sheets to tie herself up with. I locked my bedroom door cut some old sheets to use to tie my ankles together, my wrists together and eventually hogtied myself by tying my legs to a belt around my waist. It was crude and wasn't very tight, but helped me realize how much I loved bondage.
What was your best bondage experience?
For our anniversary one year, my wife had me in our straitjacket most of the day. I was plugged, gagged and stayed in bed most of the day with her while she watched television, played games and worked around the house. She had me collared and hooked one of the dog's leashes to the collar and led me around the house a few times just for sport. It was a great day.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
There's the physical stimulation and that's always a great aspect. But to me, trust is the most important part. You're willing to let yourself be bound — or to bind someone — and there's an understood trust that while you or they are tied up and helpless, nothing will happen and it's all going to be safe. It's ironic that losing your freedom can be so freeing, in that regard.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Don't feel ashamed for liking what you like. There's nothing wrong with liking BDSM — in any of the forms it takes. There's nothing demeaning about being tied up or being dominated or being the one who dominates another person. Feel confident in your actions and pick the right person to share that enjoyment with. When you find someone who enjoys BDSM like yourself, it can be truly magical and a very enjoyable experience.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
There's so many great things in the store. I've had nothing but pleasure from everything we ordered. I would have to say my favorite is the fur-lined leather wrist and ankle cuffs that we bought a long time ago. They're so soft against the skin and feel wonderful to wear, even when you're restricted with them.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Pegging while being tied down. Or, both my wife and I bound together for an extended time.
If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which would you choose and why?
Star Trek The Next Generation or The Orville. Imagine all of the great BDSM scenes you could create with the holodecks and simulators. You just need to make sure you disable all recording and ensure no one will walk in on you.
