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Best Tips to Shift from Sub to Domme

Congratulations! You have jumped the shark and decided to transition to a female led relationship. And for that, I bow down to you, wink* But as you have probably found, there have been some obstacles. Most likely, speaking from experience, those pre existing cultural negative roles are giving you a hard time.

That is why we are discussing conducts. First, we have to separate those commonly known as bad male conducts, like leaving the toilet seat up and the clothes scattered on the floor from the actual negative male expectations and roles that need to be shifted for training to start. If you have been in a relationship where the man has been in charge and is expected to be like this, those outlooks have to be repressed. If you as a woman are not used to giving instructions and appearing authoritarian, chances are you will seem weak. This can signal the man that obedience is not a priority or that you are inconsistent. Moreover, if a guy is used to a normal relationship, he may even see the role shifting as something comical and will not take things serious. But luck has it there are a few things you can do to make this transition a little smoother.

To begin with, you must know that it’s actually helpful for a third party to be openly on the woman’s side. This authority figure can be extremely helpful when You are training a man and can be the representation of female authority when cases like this occur:

  • If a guy has to surrender to a young woman (or younger than him): The younger and inexperienced the woman is, the harder for him will be to accept it. A third party might help him surrender to her.
  • If a couple has deep seated habits and dysfunctional roles. The man will probably have a hard time seeing the woman as superior to him. But a third person might help with the introduction of this role.
  • If a woman is not experienced enough with male training, a more experienced person may be helpful in supervising. This also goes for women who can’t invest the time in training the man herself.

Like I said before they can be extremely helpful and they could be anything from teachers, to male training oriented marriage counselors and male management consultants, psychologists, psychiatrists and even the man’s boss. If we are talking about close family and friends, sisters (especially older ones) and mothers make up great authority figures and are helpful allies in this process (all united!). Remember steadiness and consistency is the part of this path towards achieving training; having consistent female authority roles will help the man internalize it.

It is also important you discuss with your authority figure what are your training goals. You should never interrupt while she is instructing your guy, even if you notice something wrong or a mistake, because it will be better to discuss it in private, not in front of him. The man must always see the authority figure as the only source of power in this phase. And this is extremely important when punishment is being enacted. A man should understand punishment as a way to grow his accessibility to female authority, so don’t pity or interrupt it when is being carried away. And is also important for the man to commit to the training and for him to see you are committed as well; when he notices you are ok with him going through punishment and you are firm on it, not insecure or having second thoughts about it.

And you should also keep in mind this will be a process for you as well. You will have to shift your thinking and mold roles that have probably been there for years. For example, you will learn to adjust the level of punishment according to the indiscretion. You will probably have times of hesitations but try to remember they are probably the result of negative conditioning to stop you from acquiring all the power you can achieve.

Keep in mind a 99% of men (I’ve seen it!) who choose to submit to training, turn out very content and with increased levels of pleasure. When he starts acting with devotion towards you and you notice the relationship is probably stronger and you are both happier, you will see all the effort was worth it. Little by little, you will get there, wink*.

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