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Don't Be Afraid of Switching! Here's Why!

 

Dan flips a coin, Michelle calls it in the air... Heads. The coin slowly flips and tumbles its way to the floor. They both wait for it with anticipation. The coin hits the floor and rolls a bit before finally landing in its resting spot. Dan and Michelle peer at the coin, tension mounting. Michelle laughs when she sees the head on the coin. It's going to be a fun night.

Switching is a great thing to do in a BDSM play. Switching gives us a sense of balance in our lifestyle. It follows the same lines as a successful businessman who is in control of the business on a daily basis. They tend to want to "not be in charge all the time". The whole reason for switching is to get out of our daily routine and experience new things. It is wonderful to feel different sensations. A top might want to feel what it is that he/she is missing out.

With certain types of play as a bottom, the rush can be much more intense. For instance, I was presenting at an event a couple of years ago. During the play party, I was witness to several piercing scenes. I had seen them before, but for some reason I

was intrigued about the sensation. I asked a friend that was well versed in needle play if she would be willing to show me how it feels. Of course, this was after talking myself out of trying several times that evening. We were finally set to do this "experiment". I found that from the initial stick of the needle, to the last, the endorphin rush was immediate, intense, and quite lasting. I had never experienced that level as a Top.

Everyone is different, and everyone has their own preferences. There are people who will Top in one scene, and Bottom the next in the same night. Some people play games to see who gets to be on top. The combinations are endless. You can take any part you want in a roleplay. You don’t have to stick to a certain character.

There are also a lot of Dominants who swear that they would never submit or bottom to anyone. According to psychologists, people who adamantly swear that they would never submit or bottom to anyone deep down have an insecurity or ego problem that shows itself in the way these Dominants take such a defensive stance. There are number of people say that they don't have a submissive bone in their body. But to some degree, in the world we live in, we submit in one form or another all the time. We have bosses at work, laws of the land, parents, and many other dominant influences in our lives.

In the big scheme of things, there are no two dynamics in this lifestyle that are the same. I have never seen Master/slave, Top/bottom, or Dominant/submissive relationships that were the same and I have not known any two switches to be the same. There are a number of people out there that are Submissive to their Master, but Dominant to everyone else they play with.

No matter how we identify, we should be honest with ourselves first, and others second. We should not hide what we are for the sake of popular opinion. If the whole concept of switches is to become as widely accepted as the other roles people hold in the lifestyle, then we should stand proud in the fact that we get the best of both worlds. For a lifestyle that is supposed to be open to everyone's kinks, sometimes we are quite critical of ourselves and others that don't think exactly the same way. We are not of the same mold and do not have to adhere to other’s ideas. It's time to break that mold, stand up for what you believe and who you are.