Meet Sweet Nightingale

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I’m a mother of 2 and happily married with someone who accepts my Domme persona. I’m a stay-at-home mom and manage my household with a working husband and two naughty but loveable children.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?
That feels like such a long time ago. I’ve been into bondage long before I met my husband, who is also my lifelong sub who I treasure very much. I first realized I was into dominating men, and consequently bondage, when I used dirty talk for the first time during sex. It wasn’t even planned! My partner then just started dirty talking and it turned me on so much as well that I ended up doing it too. Needless to say, we both had wonderful orgasms that night! Nowadays, I prefer gagging my sub and doing all the dirty talk myself.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Ever since I found out how much I love talking down on my partners, I knew that I was a Dominant. It just felt so natural to me.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
More emotional at this point. My husband and I have the Dom and sub dynamic even outside of BDSM. We both know how happy we make each other when he does something I asked, even for simple stuff, like taking the trash out or other chores. Sometimes I just whisper praises to him when he does these, but when we can have time to play, something like that will definitely translate to kinky stuff that I know he’ll like. And vice versa if he did something bad or something that I did not like.

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
Definitely a lifestyle for me. I’ve been into BDSM for almost 20 years now, and in a loving Dom/sub relationship with my husband for at least a decade now, and we’re still going strong! We have both loved BDSM even before we met each other. We’ve enjoyed this type of lifestyle through the early stages of our relationship and throughout the whole period of our marriage. It’s something really, very special that the both of us are lucky enough to share with each other.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Before I met my husband, there were a few who were into bondage, but not into the whole Dom and sub thing. There were a few handcuffing and straps on the bed post kinda thing with lovers, but nothing more than that.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
My first bondage experience would be with an ex-boyfriend with previous BDSM experience. He has his own bondage gear even. It was pretty exciting stuff and he explained a lot about how each equipment can be used. I think I was 24 or 25 at that time and it was like a whole new world to me! We used a lot of them throughout our relationship.

What was your best bondage experience?
My husband and I’s honeymoon! We prepared so much for that 2 week-long vacation. We rented a private beach in Indonesia and brought all our favorite gear with us. We actually have sub-shop’s whole Heart of Gold bondage gear because it really suited my little one especially after the wedding. He looked so beautiful in white and gold, like my pretty bride in cuffs and collar. I even got him a veil to match it! That was one, if not the most memorable and cherished moments of my life.We saved a lot for that honeymoon and we don’t know if we can do it ever again. But it was all worth it!

What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
I think ‘pancakes’ was the most creative one we’ve used. There are times when we fooled around while the kids are at home. Never did any heavy stuff, but enough to help us forget the world for a few minutes. If we hear shuffling of feet outside our bedroom, loudly saying pancakes can be an easy thing to explain to curious little kids. We can just say that we were thinking of what to have for breakfast the next morning, hahaha!

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Safety and enjoyment. Just because you’re enjoying what you’re doing doesn’t mean your partner is the same. I always double-check our equipment before every scene and preparing the stuff we need for aftercare. If you’ve got all of that ready, then you’re set to enjoy the rest of the scene without any worries.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Experiment and don’t be afraid to try out a lot of kinky stuff! Just be sure that you research before doing something out yourself or try to find someone experienced to accompany you through your BDSM journey.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
I think the most used gear that we have from your shop is the Adjustable Spreader Bar. I love it when I ride my husband as I please and he can’t do anything about it!

Do you know how to drop an egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
I don’t know, maybe wrap it in something soft maybe? Nobody said it can’t be wrapped by anything!