Tips to First Time Sex with a New Partner

Starting a relationship with a new partner is a wonderful thing. At this point, the butterflies in your stomachs are very much alive. Your adrenaline is very high that the first time you become intimate with each other is usually as thrilling as it is nerve-wracking. No, that is not a bad thing—this is a new process for you and it will be all about finding out what works for you and what doesn’t. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t happen overnight. That’s what makes the whole process an adventurous experience—much more exciting than your first rollercoaster ride. Now, let’s get back to that first time—it is important because you want to make a good impression, while trying to eliminate signs of stress at the same time.

During that first time, you want to focus a bit more on intimacy. More on getting to know each other, testing the waters, and seeing what your partner likes. Most people are not entirely comfortable pulling out every trick in the book that first time, and that is perfectly fine. There will always be more time to explore new things and show them what you know.

When it comes to first times, probably the most important thing is to surrender to the chemistry and sexual tension you two have been building up so far. It is also important to relax and enjoy the ride; this is not your SAT test, so take it easy. Focusing on letting go and being present will improve your experience. Forget about the urge to give your partner an orgasm because that can create pressure you don’t really want at that precise moment. Remember relaxation brings more pleasure, so letting go of expectations will be key.

In the beginning, it is a good idea to put an emphasis on foreplay. Remember, foreplay is extremely important, especially for women, every single time. You do not want her to feel like you are in a hurry and that all you want is to get it over with. Actually, foreplay may already be half of the work when it comes to sex. Also, try to control your breathing and focus on creating a breathing rhythm with your partner. This may sound a bit crazy, but it will make you create a sort of trance that will generate a connection—and that will improve the sexual experience. Besides, that connection will increase your serotonin levels.

Are you looking for another way to increase intimacy? Looking into each other’s eyes may be a good idea. This will not only intensify the connection I was talking about earlier, it will also be extremely sensual and fun. Another cool thing to add to that mix is to caress each other’s bodies. Skin to skin contact is a must if you want to create a bond with someone, so make sure you don’t skip it. There is something special about touching the body of someone you like and are attracted to. It will feel incredible for both of you but take your time. This is not a race and you want that first time to be memorable. Heightening the senses and creating a very sensual mood will do wonders to achieve that goal.

And that brings me to the actual sex. As it is the first time, you really want to start slow. Aggressiveness can be quite sexy, but unless your partner is also on the same page, the safest bet is to play it a bit lighter and calmer. You don’t really know a lot about each other (sexually) at this point, so don’t hesitate to ask questions to gain more insights about what your partner likes; and the other way around as well, don’t hesitate to tell that new partner what you enjoy and what you don’t.

Missionary position is always a safe bet for the first time and woman on top as well. As for things like anal sex or using sex toys, it may be best to leave those experiences for another time…unless of course you both want to try it right away. Bottom line about first experiences: Go slow and pay attention to your partner and have fun while you’re at it. Cheers to new beginnings!*wink*