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Only You are Responsible for Your Life Choices and Sexuality

It happens to the best of us. You meet the lover of your dreams. You believe he or she is the best person you have ever met. You immediately fall hard and end up in a whirlwind relationship. The dynamic becomes intense and you cannot help but give in to your powerful feelings. Both of you decide to be sexually intimate. You see everything from rose-coloured glasses thanks or no thanks to the love you think is present between the two of you. But wait, your passion forgot to consider to put on a condom. You are now at risk for any sexually transmitted diseases. Now what?

This all-too common story can serve as a precaution to anyone who is easily taken in by emotions, expectations, and the thrill of romance. Honey, I’m not saying these are bad things. All I want you to know is that you can temper these with some logic and a good head on your shoulders.

Your body is your sanctuary. You have the freedom to choose what you want to do with it. But freedom comes with responsibility. Having sexual responsibility means being accountable for any decision you make about your lifestyle, who you become partners with, and why.Making decisions also demand that you first gather all the information you need before you make a choice that can affect your life. This is the only way to do it right.

If you are used to making decisions based on the full moon or some superstitious woo-woo, you better amp up your game, honey. Choices, especially sexual choices, must be based on sound knowledge. Ideally, this knowledge must be based on experience. But if in case there is a lack of experience, you can compensate for it by doing your own research. Ask people you trust or those who have extensive hand-on info on topics you want to know more of.

Do not put your life in the hands of fate. Remember, luck is preparation meeting opportunity. You will increase your chances of luck if you prepare yourself well enough to know what it is you should do and not do in terms of your sexual lifestyle.

Your sexual choices must reflect and complement your life decisions. If you want to practice safe sex, make choices that lead to you having safe sex. Don’t forget that safe sex does not only involve the use of contraceptives. Abstinence similarly falls under safe sex. Yes, honey. Safe sex means having no sex – if that is your kink and can tolerate that, good for you! But if you prefer otherwise, you have a slew of options to choose from. Choose wisely and make sure you and your partner agree on the kind of contraceptive to use.

Communicate openly with your lover. A good relationship involves healthy expression of each other’s sexuality, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs. Share your fears too. If both of you feel comfortable in sharing your sexual activities, do it! It would benefit both of you to practice honesty, respect and trust. Inform your lover of your state of health. Take careful precautions against any and all forms of sexually transmitted diseases.

Similarly, sexual responsibility requires the giving and receiving of consent any time a sexual activity is to take place. That is why I advise you to get to know your lover first before your engage in a sizzling sexual relationship. I’m mo prude though. If you feel you just got to do it, then go do it! But do protect yourself. Feel free to be hot and oh so excited, but this doesn’t give you permission to be stupid.After all, it is you who will have to suffer the consequences of your unprotected kinkyness.

Also, don’t be afraid to be straightforward. Ask your lover if he or she practiced safe sex with his or her past partners. Ask too the number of people he or she has been intimate with. Better be safe than sorry, honey. Continue to pry on though and keep asking all the questions swirling in your head. Has your lover been HIV-tested? What was the result? If your partner had a sexually transmitted disease, how was it treated?

These are difficult questions to ask, I know. But would you rather be content with guessing or believing in the goodness of your partner’s past and trust your body with Lady Luck? No matter how much I like my lover, I wouldn’t. In the same way, I should also be honest and truthful to my partner about my sexual past. All the questions you will ask your lover should also be the same questions you yourself can truthfully answer. It’s a fair thing to do, don’t you think?

As an adult, no one is responsible for your sex life other than you. All your choices should be life choices that lead to your growth. Being safe carries the consequence of helping save your sexual health as well as the sexual health of your lover.

All in all, go with your gut and keep your brain informed of the precautions you need to take to keep you and your lover sexually safe and active. If you have a tinge of worry or doubt about a question you feel was not properly addressed or if you feel a certain kind of uneasiness, you need not continue with the relationship. Your intuition could be saving you from harm.

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