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Meet Deviant Dave

 

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

I'm 39, married for the past 13 years, my wife and I have one child, and I work as a Loss Prevention Manager for a large retailer (a very dull and soul-sucking job...lol). 

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

Wow, that's a tough one. I can actually remember feelings of arousal as far back as when I was in elementary school to images of bondage on TV and lots of various bondage fantasies as I was growing up. I'd say the actual realization came when I discovered fetish porn in high school. 

How would you best describe yourself and why?  Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn. 

Generally, I would say I'm the dominant one. While I would absolutely be willing to be the submissive on occasion, my wife generally isn't as into bondage as I am and really acquiesces my sexual interests for my sake. Not to say that she doesn't enjoy it, she tells me often that she does, and lets me know what she needs. It just isn't such a big part of intimacy for her. 

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional?  (please elaborate)

For me (as is probably common with a lot of people), it's a bit of both. Physically it's a huge turn on. Emotionally, I always feel much closer to my wife when we have a bondage-themed evening. It's both physically and emotionally a turn-on just knowing that I can experience such a private, yet important, part of my sexual being and explore those interests with her free of judgment.

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?

I don't know that I would necessarily call it a lifestyle, but it is a huge part of intimacy for me. It is an especially important part of foreplay, and bondage has a lot of influence over my level of arousal.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

Unfortunately, most were not. 

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

I guess my first was when I was 16 or 17. I managed to talk my girlfriend into letting me restrain her to a table with a pair of handcuffs she had during some very vanilla sex.

What was your best bondage experience?

All of them...I'm just grateful to be involved...lol

What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?

We generally don't use a safeword anymore. We are pretty good at reading each other’s comfort levels and, after 15 years together, she has made it perfectly clear what I can get away with and what I can't :)

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

Love, trust, and mutual respect.  

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Make sure your partner is having as much fun as you are...and don't be afraid to laugh when things don't go exactly as planned (because sometimes they won't and hilarity will ensue).

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

Honestly I've never bought anything from sub-shop.com that we didn't like. But my personal favorite is the bondage tape.  So many options with that. And ball gags. Nothing turns me on like gagging my wife. 

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

I've been very fortunate in that I've been able to try all of them at one time or other.

What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?

I couldn't even tell you the last time I heard a knock-knock joke.

What is Eskimo ice?

No idea