Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I work in the tech industry, somewhere between an engineer and designer. I pull tons of hours but love my job. I would describe myself as an extrovert that prefers to be introverted. I recently reached a sort of “equilibrium” in terms of everyday life; I started dabbling in all kinds of hobbies (kinkiness included!) usually in engineering and general computer geekiness. My philosophy in everyday life these days is simple – don’t allow yourself to be bored.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
Reflecting on this is hilarious to me, I was very young. I used to tie myself up with bungee cords - The kind with the elastic-rope material and those metal hooks. My dad had a truck and he was always hauling heavy cargo that needed to be secured. Those bungie things were literally everywhere. I have no idea what could have possibly triggered that behavior at that age, but I know that’s where it started.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional?
It’s tough to answer this one… I take a very light-hearted approach to BDSM things. Bondage to me just makes sex more fun. Physical is probably closest!
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
Normally, I would say it’s a diversion, a hobby, whatever… However, having practiced or been involved with it more many years it’s probably my biggest hobby. Specifically, I find bondage or BDSM tech very fascinating and end up interacting with it in a more direct way. It poses some interesting problems to solve. Is it possible to make a great or believable “Mistress/Master” AI? Can you gamify bondage and general kinkiness to the point where it is as interactive as the real deal? Who knows! I find the future of sex technology fascinating.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
So far, yes. However, at least in my experience, there has historically been a lot of space between where I am on the kinkiness spectrum and where my partner rests. I’ve done my best to introduce things but I sort of feel like the other person is just coming along for the ride. Last partner was a few years ago (I moved to a new job) so in this next attempt I will try some new things.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
Assuming this question is with a partner – Handcuffed, gagged and teased for an hour or so. Good times… I was so young then… Also, my toy box was tiny and low quality!
What was your best bondage experience?
Honestly, my best bondage experiences have been solo. One sticks out - I had built my own release system. It was a tiny container that was lockable/unlockable via Bluetooth; I built a simple program that would unlock the container after time expired. I tested it a bunch and things looked great. After that, it was time to get busy with bondage. I went for a simple, manageable hogtie - wrists behind back, ankles to wrists, but not painfully tight.
Finally, came time for release – I heard the distinctive sound of my little lockbox popping open. I was incredibly proud that my little homemade tech project was going to work in a live session. I wiggled on over - lo and behold, there was no key. I had forgotten to put the key in the lockbox. Luckily, I had a backup – the classic – ice timer. Unfortunately, I had set the lockbox timer for something short, I think it was like 20 minutes. As many know, ice can take HOURS. I remember being incredibly nervous at the time but once I saw that the ice timer was slowly melting away, I remember a feeling of just euphoric relaxation. Always have a backup! It was also a great reminder that no matter how awesome technology is, it’s still prone to human error.
What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?
With partners, I’ve never done anything worthy of setting up a safe word. However, I can still answer this question! The same lockbox program discussed above would send a simple randomly generated password to an email address. It was just a random letter generator. After entering this password, the lockbox would immediately open. One of my test sessions came back with “uarskrwd” (I read it as “you are screwed”), and I just thought that was wonderfully appropriate.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
That you and your partner enjoy it! What’s the point if you’re not doing it because you want to? I don’t think there is any real definition of minimum requirements other than enjoyment.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
If someone truly finds BDSM engaging, adding the simplest things can mean the world of difference. There is something incredibly erotic about just being gagged or being handcuffed. It doesn’t need to be anything more then what you find satisfying. If you “want to go deeper” go deeper; if you’re happy where you’re at, that’s great too!
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
I hope this doesn’t sound like a cop-out but it’s literally the simplest thing – Bondage straps and mini padlocks, tons of them! The possibilities are endless.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Chastity! Let’s just say that willpower is low to try just yet…
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
“My damn foots stuck in the door!”
What is Eskimo ice?
The back-up ice release – of course! It’ll never let you down!