Please tell us a little bit about yourself–How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I am a retired engineer, married for 40+ years. A traveler who likes to take extended month long camping/hiking/backpacking trips in the West. Spent today making repairs on a wood kayak I built in preparation for a weeklong river kayak trip.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
We discovered the interest many years ago, before kids. We used home made fabric ties. That died with the introduction of children to the household. Then in the late 90's, my wife and I independently discovered an interest in the DS lifestyle. At a local event I attended sessions with the late Tammad and Jay Wiseman, which reignited the interest. I became the local "rope guy" The more I learned the more I got into it.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn
I am a heterosexual nice sadistic dominant with some poly. As a local "expert" I do a lot of service topping.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
Bondage fills both needs at different times in different circumstances. There is a joy in tying, the act, the form, and the appearance. At the same time it feeds the need for dominance as you restrain and make the rope bottom helpless, at your disposal. For rewarding bondage there has to be a connection to the bottom. I may tie or suspend someone where there is no real connection; it is a mechanical act with only the reward of meeting someone's need, giving them a new experience, and introducing them to rope. The next tie may result in a connection, which can turn into a real scene, rewarding both to the bottom and to me as the top.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Very much so. I have the luck of being married to a rope bottom that enjoys being bound. My other partners have always been into being bound, either as one who goes into rope/sub space or simply being restrained for other activities. I met my second partner at an open rope share event. It went from "Would you tie me up like that?" to a year long relationship that went far beyond bondage.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience
I ran across a bondage magazine. I came home one day and my wife was reading it. We played with the ties and found that I enjoyed tying and she enjoyed being bound. Bondage sex was a new spice that we hadn't experienced before. Far more intense for her, and a power trip for me.
What was your best bondage experience?
Several years ago at Shibaricon they decided to no longer allow suspension classes. That year there was a class on "semi suspension" which unfortunately was "how close can we get to teaching suspension without getting caught” As one who enjoys semi suspension I was quite upset and put in an application to teach the next year. That was accepted. Unfortunately when I saw the schedule there were three semi suspension classes, one before mine taught by the person I considered the best rigger in the region, and one after mine taught by the event showman. Fortunately my class was filled and went well. As I was leaving on Sunday one of the students came up to me in the hallway and said, "Yours was my favorite class this weekend, it showed me I can do this"I floated home.
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
"You are fucking done."
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Know the intent of the session, and both the rigger and bottom need to be on the same page. Is this a bondage experience for a rope bottom who enjoys the experience of being tied, or is this a practice session for the rigger, or is the bondage to restrict the movement of the bottom for other activities, or is this a first time with someone who doesn't know what to expect? It works best for both parties if they are on the same page with reasonable expectations.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Get active in your local community, it will greatly help in separating fantasy from reality, real people from posers, safe from stupid.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item fromsub-shop.com and why?
The mini wanachi; powerful, waterproof, great for internal or external use. Forced orgasms with a bound bottom is a trip.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Having someone beautiful and famous as a live in 24/7 slave.