Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
Vanilla life: kids, white collar job, mortgage, wife has a job, living in suburbs of D.C. On the surface we look like hundreds of thousands of other people in the northern Virginia.
How you best describe yourself? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or FuzzyRainbow Unicorn. Please explain your choice.
I’m a switch, but mostly dom. I only play with my wife and she is switch, mostly sub, so that works out.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
I tied my college GF to the bed when I was 22 and took photos of her before ‘forcing’ myself on her. That was almost 30 years ago.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
It’s a craving that is hard to describe or classify. It’s both physical and mental. I tell my wife it’s like an itch I just have to scratch, but that is an over simplification.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
BDSM would be fun to do more, but it’s not a lifestyle. It’s definitely a diversion from the mundane, boring ass shit that everyday life grinds you down with.
Can you describe your first bondage experience?
I think I did: tied up college gf…I think after we say Basic Instinct with Sharon Stone. That danger and control portrayed in the film piqued my interest.
What was your best bondage experience?
I have some really good ones: two stand out. One, my wife restrained me and used her mouth and hands to edge me and ruin orgasms for hours. Intense and exhausting.
The other: I handcuffed her and blindfolded her and ‘forced’ her to suck a stranger’s cock while I took her from behind. Our first threesome, in addition to a bondage experience.
Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?
When I was young & fit, my abs and arms. Now maybe my eyes
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Take it slow, ease into it if you need to and respect your and your partner’s limits, but also try to enjoy it, try new things and be open to it. Like anything else, too little is dull and too much is a turn off. Find what works for you.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from Sub-Shop.com and why?
Anything I can use to quickly restrain my wife (wrist restraints, I have several) or a cock cage. They are the two things most reflective of our power dynamic.
What is your favourite knock-knock joke?
Those suck. Use this instead: Did you hear about the pony with a sore throat? He was a little horse.
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or more knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
Several things:
Zip Ties suck and are dangerous: we had a too tight zip tie incident once that almost resulted in an ER trip.
Buy bolt cutters if you use metal wrist or ankle cuffs or a metal cock cage.
Keep lube on hand
Take photos, but not too many with faces
Check on your partner’s state of mind regularly
Always be ready: I carry a short length of rope and can tie Texas handcuffs in about a second: I never know when my moufy wife will need to be restrained and fucked.
If you are rough and practice consensual non consent, remind your partner to use make up, baggy clothes, long sleeves, etc. She has gotten some strange looks and even a concerned question or two from people after seeking marks on her. Either that or live in the open, but we aren’t ready for that.
Take every chance you have to play: there will a day when you can’t anymore and you will regret it. Very few people ever die thinking they had too much kinky sex, right?
