The ‘Don’ts of Humiliation Training
There are plenty of things involved in humiliation training. And as you know, everyone should be able to adapt it to their own needs. We always say you should find what works exactly for you and your partner; there is not a one size fits all model. However, there are some tips you will have to keep in mind when you are training someone; More specifically, some things that are not recommended for you to actually do. Among these guidelines are:
- Never disregard limits: every relationship is based on trust and the BDSM ones require it even more, if I do say so myself. Your slave/partner is trusting in you so you can’t ever overstep their limits or previous agreements. If you want to do things different, the best way is to just stop the scene and talk to them about it.
- It’s not personal: You will have to be careful when it comes to scenes because you don’t want to make them too personal. You know your slave, so you will be able to gauge what is something too personal for them; for instance, put the attention on their actions and how they are acting, but never refer to their appearance or to something else they can’t change because it is what makes them, well, them.
- It’s not impossible: Your training goals shouldn’t be impossible to achieve because your slave will say, “What’s the point?” Your goals should always remain between the realms of what’s possible for them at the time; don’t forget you can and will adjust them with time as both learn and make progress. Walk before you run and ride a bicycle, wink*.
- Humiliation is not a punishment: You should always have this very clear in your mind. The punishments you two agree on have to be different from the training and should be completely different things. It may be hard, but don’t ever confuse them!
- Don’t break them fully: There is a point of no return in these scenes, no matter how much your slave mentions you can do anything. Be aware there is a point where it becomes harmful, so don’t ever get there; I mean, the point of this is for both of you to enjoy. Sometimes you will notice it because they freeze up and won’t be able to do anything, but other times they may try to continue. Gauge their reactions and be careful not to get too carried away.
- Skip aftercare: When the scene is done, you need to take care of your slave. They shouldn’t be left feeling useless or wrecked and you have to make sure of that. Respect them and take care of their needs and whatever it is they need to continue. This way everyone will be happy to continue training.