The first time you have sex with a new partner, it’s usually a very intense experience; it also tends to be a bit nerve wracking, because you don’t know each other very well, so you don’t really know what to expect. Most importantly, that first encounter can really make a difference in the whole relationship; a lot of people gauge a lot of the potential of the relationship by that first encounter…so yeah, no pressure at all. To help you succeed when meeting new people, here’s some things you can do to ensure you’re more Casanova than cold fish.
Kissing is the first step towards steamier things so this should be treated as most important. Chemistry is a factor, but your technique is very noticeable as well. Instead of ramming the tongue in and out, it is important to have a rhythm and change the movements. You could trace the lips with your tongue and vary between soft kisses and sucking their tongue and lips. When things start to heat up, it is important to take your time (especially for men - remember, this is not a race!)
You could spend around 15 minutes kissing and touching before moving things forward. On average, women actually take around 8 minutes to get aroused, so don’t rush it. This means the more time a man spends teasing her without actually stimulating their genitals in the way they need it the most is the way to go. The man can gently caress her hips, bottom, and inside the thighs. After those 15 minutes, chances are a woman will be begging for some action because they will be on the brink of unfiltered arousal.
When it comes to oral sex, women usually love some action too. If you have the green light, you can spend as much as 10 minutes down there (or more if you’re looking to really show off). The man should really make use of his tongue, licking all the way down to the inner labia, skipping the clitoris in the process. Alternating that with some kissing action on the inner thighs will make her mad until you finally touch her clitoris and vaginal opening.
When it comes to penetration, you shouldn’t aim for record-breaking three hours sex; less than 20 minutes could be enough (your mileage may vary). As it is the first time, you also don’t want to invent new sex positions or try complicated kama-sutra positions. The first time is a good idea to play it safe; missionary sex will always be the good old reliable position you can count on. The woman can lie down, put a pillow beneath her hips with her knees a bit bent. In this position, the man can kneel between her legs and penetrate her; at the same time, his hands are free to stimulate her clitoris. This is a good combination that will probably make all parties satisfied. The good thing about a classic is both of you will probably be able to come without problems or pressure.
After sex, don’t let it get awkward. Even though it may sound like a cliché, cuddling is a great idea. Like I said, this is not a race so you can take your time just laying in bed and being close to each other. Women do tend to need this reassuring space more than men, but it is just for about 20 minutes and you will be able to build that connection and get know each other a bit better (win-win situation for everyone!) And you don’t have to actually cuddle; just holding hands or even putting your hand on her stomach will probably be enough if you’re not into it as much as she is.
Afterwards, make sure to keep in touch. This means either by calling or texting. I know ‘not caring’ is in fashion, but take it from me - caring is actually cool. Let them know how much your enjoyed your time together or simply let them know when you are thinking about them; you never know if that can really make a difference in that person. With that, I wish you luck, and a toast for new beginnings!
