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BDSM Facts 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Left Out

 

Fifty Shades of Grey caught everyone’s attention upon its publication a few years ago, and it seemed to remain in the spotlight for quite some time. But people’s thoughts on it varied in different communities, and yet one cannot deny the effect it had on the BDSM community that seemed to grow rapidly after the book and more-so after the movie. However, Fifty Shades of Grey is filled with misconceptions, facts that weren’t included and other information that for someone who’s interested in BDSM it is ideal for them to know. Here are a few of these facts, I hope they’ll shed some more light for those who are curious.

(B)ondage and (D)iscipline, (D)ominance and (S)ubmission, (S)adism and (M)asochism.

First and most important fact for an interested person is to know what the abbreviation stands for. Well the BDSM is a large sum of different fetishes which in some cases don’t meet, yet they’re all in one large category.

Sex is not always the goal.

Not all BDSM acts involve sex, and more often than not BDSM isn’t about sex at all. While Hollywood, the porn industry, and other various factors may make it seem as so, sex is not primarily the goal of the BDSM community, so much so that some BDSM dungeons simply do not allow intercourse.

No, is No!

BDSM isn’t forceful, you can say no, you can stop, and you can certainly choose what you’d like to do or have done to you. Consent is a requirement in BDSM, and knowing what is allowed and what isn’t is part of the equation as well. The phrase 'Safe, sane, and consensual' (SSC) is an integral part of the BDSM community and it is strictly followed.

BDSM is a community.

If you ever decide to try BDSM keep in mind that a whole community of consenting adults await you. The community itself is taboo-free, friendly, and quite knowledgeable. They welcome new members and know how to guide them in the right direction.

Say no to Fifty Shades of Grey.

The inaccuracies often portrayed in the book series, and movies, often repulses the community itself, as they’re being portrayed in a negative, and usually harmful way. Surely the book had a hand in stirring the curious minds in the right direction, and caused them to research BDSM, but the book itself seemed to condone abuse and unhealthy relationships, something which BDSMers do NOT condone. To repeat, everything is about consent. Someone who is offering the 'Christian Grey Experience' is not looking out for your safety or peace of mind while participating in whatever part of BDSM you're interested in.

Encounters are called “scenes.”

Since BDSM doesn’t always involve intercourse, you wouldn’t necessarily call it a ‘hook-up’ or ‘sex’, which is why they’re called ‘scenes.’ You get to act out different scenes, sometimes risque or taboo, you might not otherwise be comfortable doing with someone else you may think will judge you or also doesn't know what they're doing yet. There are often professionals in the field, people you can hire for different amounts of time for an S&M scene for example. Something which you can also see at the BDSM clubs.

Not everyone likes the same thing.

Seeing as different people have different tastes, not all BDSM involves chains and whips. An example is such a thing as Sensual Dominance, a type of play which involves a wide range of finding someones 'sweet spots' with sensual touching and talking dirty to them.

Public events and clubs are definitely a thing.

In areas around the world, and specifically in the U.S., BDSM clubs and events appear and happen quite often, but they are safer than one might think. They have monitors will revoke anyone who doesn’t seem to play around safely or ignore the person’s consent and safe word. Remember, SSC.

Whips can only be used on certain areas of the body.

While whips vary in shape and size, making the pain levels quite different depending on the person. It is also vital to know how and where to use the whip on another being, as there are areas in the body which can cause harm to organs if whipped. After all, the people in the community are often professionals and know how to handle their whips.

You can be monogamous or polyamorous.

Just because someone’s into BDSM doesn’t mean they cannot be married or be in a committed relationship. The polyamorous status of the BDSM community is a misconception, as BDSM is also practiced among monogamous couples worldwide! Along with a whole bunch of other people in different romantic entanglements. As long as it's talked over with your partner(s) beforehand, and everyone is willing to try, the community promises to be a fun and fulfilling experience.