Three Myths about BDSM

Since it is such an interesting subject, BDSM entertained a lot of assumptions especially for people who never tried it or never got deep enough to understand what this community is all about. Rumors based on media and movies gave BDSM a different light than the real one that it shines under, and some clarifications are needed to be made for those who are considering in taking their personal relationship to this level of intensity.

1. BDSM is a fetish

This is not exactly accurate even if it is a very common way to refer to what the BDSM community has to offer. BDSM is a sexual style, a relationship type, formed by a multitude of fetishes without being one by itself. And sometimes, as a matter of fact most of the times, it has nothing to do with physical sexual intercourse that everyone is used to. It is more complex than that and it involves exploring your sexuality to a different level of excitement and pleasure as well as understanding your sexual identity and your partner’s as well. Many BDSM enthusiasts are into certain practices specific to BDSM community like spanking, bondage or chastity games, and very few close to none are into all the practices that this category has to offer. However, to know what suits you best, you should give it a try to more than a three of these fetishes in order to understand what BDSM is about and what can you take out of it and what to incorporate into your personal relationship.

2. Men are dominant, women are submissive

This might be the case if we talk about the majority of BDSM couples, but it is not a general fact that applies among the BDSM community. People who get into BDSM can be of any gender and sexual orientation, and they can prefer to either be a submissive or a dominant partner regardless of their gender, which is perfectly fine. Within the BDSM community there is a slice for everyone and you can easily find a comfortable spot to indulge in a multitude of sexual practices without being judged or questioned. All of that is because BDSM has nothing to do with conformism and conservatism. It follows its own rules and that is all that matters when we talk about a successful BDSM relationship. Not to mention that when you get into BDSM, you don’t have to choose just one role or another. You and your partner can switch between being a submissive and a dominant as many times as you want in order to keep things hot and exciting. Especially if you are a beginner, you might want to try both sides that way you know what turns you on more and which team you want to be in. What you imagine might be very different from what you will actually feel while enjoying a BDSM scene.

3. BDSM is dangerous

It can be, however, if one follows the rules of the game then it shouldn’t be. When done correctly and after a proper research, BDSM can be the most pleasant experience you will ever have and the risks are close to none, at least the real risks. Of course there are several risk points but they are just meant to increase the excitement of the entire sexual encounter. There is, for instance, edge play, which involves the usage of sharp objects that, typically, represent a risk for the partners, but if they are used correctly and the save, sane and consensual rule is applied, no one will get hurt in the end. Suspension bondage is considered to be an extreme form of bondage due to the risks that it brings for the submissive when it comes to their blood circulation, and the chances of passing out are very high during this particular BDSM practice. But when done correctly and after an intense communication that both partners know and respect each other’s limits, there is no risk involved because there will be a level of trust between the partners that will not allow any risk to be taken.