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Meet Dimonium Anonimo

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?

Science and math enthusiast, maker, avid yet amateur pyrotechnician, jack of many traits, master of no one, a fan of wordplay, and fully submissive. Yes, even in vanilla life.

When did you first realize you were into bondage?

game night, one fine fall evening of 2013. I'm asexual (or maybe Demisexual, not sure yet) so when all my friends get in a circle and talk about who's done it with who and who has a crush on who, I typically zone out. This night, they got to talking about kinks. I overheard some things that got me a bit hot under the collar (if only I'd had a collar that night). I went home, did a bit of research, started a FetLife account, and Bob's your uncle: 6 years later I've got a spreadsheet to keep track of over 400 fetishes, kinks, and fantasies.

How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.

ooh man, that fuzzy unicorn is tempting, but nothing captures the majority of my personality better than submissive. I'm so submissives I make all my submissive friends feel Dominant.

Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)

you know that feeling in the morning when You make a big stretch and You can feel Your muscles fight against You. That's not what I feel, I feel invisible restraints holding me back and me struggling helplessly against them. It's just my imagination, but it just makes me feel comfy cozy. I wanna be wrapped up with nowhere to go and cuddle up next to someone who has complete control. I'd have to say it's more physical. But B without the DSM isn't much of a relationship. And there's a lot more emotion in the rest of those letters for me.

What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?

yeah, lifestyle is pretty accurate. I'm very much submissive in more aspects than sexual. Even outside of intimate relations. Obviously, I don't get off on my coworker picking where we're gonna get lunch, but I just feel more comfortable in the backseat vs behind the wheel. To actively incorporate BDSM into a relationship means well-defined roles. I understand switches exist, but I do not understand what goes on inside their heads. I'm a servant, I am beneath, I exist to please and obey. I am a pet for amusement, but I can comfort and support too. Every obedient creature has known reward as well as punishment, the only difference is people like me can't decide which one they enjoy more.

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

I've exclusively pursued dominant partners with like fetishes. We've had various differences in, shall we say, side kinks. But yes, bondage being probably one of my top 5 has always been something we had in common before ever even talking seriously about trying to have a relationship. Being Ace (or Demisexual) that's really the most important thing if I'm going to have any sort of sexually intimate relationship.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

Probably like most, it was some rope I found in my dad's garage while they were out. My only difference is I was probably older than most and house-sitting for my parents while home from college at the time.

What was your best bondage experience?

the first time I was led on a collar by someone else was at an LGBTQ+ convention. The second the leash clicked on, I couldn't stop smiling the whole day. Didn't care who was watching. To finish it off, I went to an after-hours workshop with an incredible man who beat me red. Every time I stood up or sat down on the various subway swaps on the way back to the hotel brought every feeling flooding back and I relived it over and over.

What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?

Memphis. One of my good friends was traveling across the country to relocate. I checked the map and told them to wave due north while in Memphis. They sent me a message, and I waved back due south. We later entered an experimental/exploratory contract and used that as the safe-word.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

I'm super glad I'm not a Dom, I don't understand how someone can be in control the whole time, they are responsible for another human, and lapses in concentration can literally have permanent, and in some cases, debilitating or worse consequences. I'm glad those people exist. Every sub out there should fully realize and appreciate what they put into a relationship. That allows us as subs to be able to lose ourselves in the moment. Dissociate from reality. We can lean into it and feel the whole Earth leave us behind in the void and yet experience belongingness unlike any other. If You've never experienced subspace before, I envy You, because You've got maybe the best feeling of Your life to look forward to. I hear it's different for everyone, but I also get a lot of nodding heads when I explain it like that.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Solo play is not a lack of experience as long as You can reflect and understand what Your body is telling You. Try Your Best to learn Your limits not by making mistakes because that hurts in ways You might not understand for a long time, but by being aware of how little You know in every new thing You try. If You are playing with another, there is nothing more dangerous than withholding reservations. Don't assume it doesn't matter, or that You'll like it anyway, and certainly don't try to act tough for anyone. Have a plan for how You want to vocalize Your limits and tweak the wording whenever You notice any ambiguity. Update it when Your tastes change and know why each item is on that list. It may be a good idea to reevaluate those reasons and their importance from time to time. That's like, 5 bits of advice rolled into one, but they're all related to the concept I've found most important in early negotiations. And I honestly don't have enough experience in long-term relationships to provide advice for that.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?

I don't think I've successfully picked a favorite anything in any category for over a decade. I love it all so much. As far as most used though, probably either the chastity cage, studded paddle with heart holes, heel cuffs, or the silk rope.

What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?

pretty much most of them. I'm a youngling in the BDSM world who spent my first 4 years in college and only this last year and a half or so have I really started seriously trying to find someone to play with and a permanent partner. I've still yet to be completel 100% hopelessly at the mercy of another person to be let out of whatever device, position, or scenario I'm in. I'd like to start there. That's one I'm exceptionally excited for, however it happens.

If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which would you choose and why?

I mean, utilitarian brain thinking with 5 tries a week at $1Million and always going home with something, Deal or no Deal would be a good idea. If we're thinking more fun and instant gratification, probably either Fear Factor or The Voice or something so I could either get paid to live some of my weirdest fantasies or just sing all day long every day. If we're including fantasy and fictional world's that I can't physically be in but wish I could, ummmm like, all of the shows I've watched. Probably RWBY, Fairyl Tail, or Kill-La-Kill would be at the top of the list. Anything with straight-up magic and/or a strong female lead who could probably kick the crap out of me.

Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or silly knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.

did You know every 'c' in the Pacific Ocean and every 'e' in Mercedes-Benz is pronounced differently?

a hydraulic ram is not a water sheep

NSFW and OSHA violation means the same thing

knock knock

Who's there?-

Little old lady

Little old lady who?-

I didn't know You could yodel

and last but not least: don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things... Unless it's been a long hard day and they really need it, maybe take a shower with them first

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