Ladies we have a gut instinct. You know what I’m talking about. That nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something is just not right. Sometimes it works in our favor and dances as we realize things are great. The problem is that we seldom use it. We brush it off and say it’s not real. We are just nervous, worried, paranoid, used to being hurt. The list goes on and on.
Truth is, we are usually right on the money. When our gut tells us to turn and run we probably should. But since most of you are much like me and tend to ignore self-preservation techniques; there are some warning signs you can watch for. Here are five of the most major red flags that tell you to get away from the relationship before it goes any further.
1. Dishonesty
Now I’m a no tolerance kind of girl. If you lie to me about the little things, you are going to be okay lying about the big ones. So once I catch you in a lie that was purposely crafted, I’m out. Well I used to be when I was still dating. But for most women, it takes big lies to make a difference. If you catch him lying about where he was or with whom, it might be time to step back. No one can have a healthy relationship if they can’t even be honest with one another.
2. Failure to Communicate
Lack of communication in a relationship is a guaranteed way for it to end badly. You need to be able to discuss what’s important and you need to be able to tell each other what is going on. The problem with this is men are men. Women are women. If we want to tell him we are going to the bar with friends, it takes two cups of coffee and a three hour story. He will just say I’m going to the bar with the guys on his way out the door. In other words, he’s not going to communicate like you do. He’s a guy. He may say he loves you without the words. He may tell you what’s bothering him indirectly. So when you read lack of communication it does not mean lack of talking to you for hours about his hopes and dreams. It means you actually know very little to nothing about him and when you try to discuss a serious issue he acts as though you never spoke.
3. No one knows about You
Typically he’s not going to invite you to his buddy’s house to watch the game. Not because he doesn’t love you. Not (always) because he wants time away from you. His line of thinking is that you don’t like the game and he’s either going to act differently with you and piss you off or act the same and get razzed by his friends. He avoids it. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed any more than it does when you don’t invite him to mani-pedis. It’s also true his family may not love you. That isn’t an auto-fail either. But if no one in his life has heard your name and you’ve never even met them; you might want to use caution.
4. Anger/Abuse
We all get mad. I’ve gotten mad enough to throw something against the wall a time or two. But its rare. If you notice that he reacts with anger towards everything that upsets him or uses violence more often than not; it’s probably a good idea to let him go. This is also true if you pick up on clues of abuse towards others or animals.
5. Possessive/Controlling
Okay, this is something we can all be accused of. Where are you going? Who are you with? What are you doing? Most of the time we blow it off to jealousy. But if he is overly controlling and limiting your activities, you might want to be concerned. If you are barely dating and he’s already planning your children, it could be a problem. If he’s running off your friends out of jealousy, its something to pay attention to.
