A Guide on Casual Dating and Sex

Oh the perils of dating…if only I could write a book about it…Once you get out of a long term relationship, it can be a bit of a challenge to get back in the game, especially if you are not looking for anything serious. On the other hand, you may simply not be in the market for a serious relationship and what to keep things strictly casual…Either way, I think we can all agree the ‘rules’ about casual dating can be quite complicated.

‘Do I need to wait a certain amount of time to change partners? Can I use the sex toys with different people? Is it normal to have two or more sexual partners in the same week?’ Are probably some questions that have plagued your mind more than once in your journey. And let’s face it: something so fun shouldn’t be this hard! (Unlike other fun things in life that you do prefer hard…wink*)

The first thing you may want to acknowledge is, in this day and age, casual dating is something that has become normalized. This is not the 1800's when it is expected you date the same person and marry them a month later. And that is a great thing because it gives you the opportunity to understand what you really want and need; variety is a wonderful gift life can bring you. But you do need to have very open conversations when you are casually dating; like I said, this the 21st century and this is the new norm.

When you are dipping your toes in this, it is important to be aware you are not meeting and sleeping with a number of people to judge them later on from a scale of 1 to 10 to figure out which is ‘the one for you’. Although this may sound romantic, it is not real life. However, dating with several people can be an awesome way to have fun, explore your sexuality and your own needs and preferences in a relationship.

Once you have a new prospect, it is always a good idea to have an open conversation about your dating preferences and status. This means you should definitely tell him or her you are not monogamous or looking for anything serious. It may sound weird to have this conversation with someone you probably don’t know very well, but it is common curtsy to let him or her know where you stand in all of this. When will you have this conversation is entirely up to you, but keep in mind if the relationship continues, the longer you wait to bring this up the bigger is the probability for it to get worse.

The best course of action is to be honest with them since the beginning; you obviously don’t need to get into details, but inform them you are probably going to be (or already are) seeing other people. Honesty is very important because your partner should be comfortable with this, you don’t know if they are also into casual dating. If they are not comfortable with it, it may be best to move on with somebody else. And that is ok, not everyone has the same preferences!

If you want to use your sex toys with different people, that is totally fine, but make sure to follow the proper hygienic rules. This includes cleaning and sanitizing your toy after each use. Depending on the toy, it is always a good idea to use a condom to be extra careful.

About the amount of partners you are ‘allowed’ to have, there's no set of rules about this. Simply go with your gut; if you feel comfortable having sex with someone in the morning and then having sex that same night with somebody else, then go for it. Remember that anything is game as long as everything is consensual, comfortable and enjoyable. Just don’t forget the condoms!