Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I am 41 years old, a big video game player, and I grew up in a small town in the Midwest.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
I first realized I was into bondage when I was about 13 and I met my next door neighbor. She was in Girl scouts and wanted to practice her rope tying. It started innocently then later we both discovered that we liked it... a lot.
We "played" together almost every day until our parents figured out what was going on. It stopped, but I could not get the feelings out of my head and began searching for more. One day a year or two later I stumbled across the Internet. Wow! I finally realized I was not alone in my search for answers! All this time I thought there was something wrong with me.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
I would describe myself as Submissive. It didn't start out that way I liked the aspect of being a switch but over time I realized I just was not very good at being a Dom.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional?
My desire for bondage is both physical and emotional, I love being tied/restrained to the point I can’t move and the feeling of the rope/leather is a powerful sensation. Emotionally my vanilla side of life causes stress and I get a release from that by having someone else in control for playtime.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
BDSM has evolved into a lifestyle for me. I can't get enough of it. Mostly the BD part not that keen of the SM stuff a little here and there but very light.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Some of my lovers were very freaked out by my interests and it made me feel very uncomfortable early on. Then as I went through a period of time, I discovered more people with my interests I grew more confident in expressing my views on the subject. To my astonishment I attracted more people and we eventually started a secret club.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
My first bondage experience was helping the girl next door; I ended up tied to a pole in her basement.
What was your best bondage experience?
My best bondage time was spent over the course of about 6 months training with a professional Mistress. It actually made me rethink many of my attitudes and misconceptions I had about being in the lifestyle. Surprisingly some of those changes carried over into my Vanilla life. I was freer to express myself without fearing what others thought.
What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?
I typically don't use a safe word but I'm not saying don't use one. I use checklists with corresponding colors of a stop light.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
The most important thing I can say about the experience of bondage is this: Know Thy Self or Learn to Know Thy Self and Keep it Safe, Sane, and CONSENSUAL.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
The best advice I have to offer to someone just starting out is, the only way you are going to find out if you like something is to try it and do not be afraid of what others may think. At the same time you have to find a partner who is on the same page as you are. It will turn out very badly if you show off your toy collection to someone you just met and just happens to be Vanilla.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
Well there are many, many to choose from but I have to go with the Collar, Wrist and Ankle cuff set. I bought it many years ago and it’s still going strong!