Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I’m a mid-thirties professional living the American dream. My blue sedan sits in the two car garage attached to my three bedroom house where I live with my wife, two dogs, and a cat. On the surface, I look and act just like any other modern suburban family man. I work to pay the bills, mow the grass twice a week, and play hard on the weekends. My vanilla life is a large part of who I am. Without it, I’d be incomplete.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve enjoyed giving up control. My earliest bondage memories involve acting as the captured soldier when my friends and I played war as children. I always volunteered to be interrogated. At the time, I didn’t chalk it up to anything more than a part I liked to play. As I got older, and the internet broadened my horizons, I discovered the identity of my needs and that I was part of a larger community of individuals just like me.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
There is no doubt in my mind I am a submissive. I thrive in subspace and relish the opportunity to be converted to an object of another’s desires.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
Both, actually. I love the feeling of surrendering my physicality to another and struggling against tight restraints. Each futile pull and wiggle send me further and further to a special place. When you totally give yourself up and rely on another to release you from an inescapable scenario, you place a lot of emotional trust in that person. Through bondage, my wife and I have strengthened our loving relationship. During my times of solitary confinement, I’ve introspectively evaluated my personality and life choices, and I’ve improved upon my character in the areas of patience and temper.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Yes, for the most part. Most of my lovers were accepting of my interest in bondage, but our roles sometimes conflicted. I’ve never had much luck with switches or other submissives. Until I met my wife (a switch), I never received much pleasure as the dominant. With her, our vanilla relationship is so strong, I willingly switch to meet her needs.
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
My first experience is a memorable one. I met a dominant woman online and drove 7 hours to meet her for a scene. Disclaimer: I do not necessarily condone this type of impromptu meet up. In hind sight, it could have ended poorly. However, upon arrival, she quickly wrapped me in cling film and introduced me to CBT and nipple torture. Later in the evening, I found myself hooded and gagged in a humbler with my hands tied behind my back for a flogging. That first experience shattered my shallow limits, and I drove home a new person.
What was your best bondage experience?
My best experience was when I was gagged and placed in a leather sleepsack and made to watch two dominant females play with a submissive female in front of me – This was long before I met my wife. There was so much I wanted to join in on, and it about drove me mad! Great times!
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
I’m old school. Red, Yellow, and Green should be standardized safewords for the whole community. Safe, sane, and consensual, am I right?
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Being yourself. Bondage allows you to be you with others who accept you for who you are. It provides an opportunity to build much stronger relationships than going out for coffee ever will.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Safety is number one. Bondage is a lot of fun, but it involves a level of risk that must be considered. Don’t rush into a scenario to fulfill your needs if it doesn’t feel right.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
My “Locked Down in Luxe Panel Ball Gag Trainer,” is my favorite. It takes a little time to get on and adjusted, but once it’s on, good luck getting a peep out! I love the way it looks and the way the material warms and conforms to my head.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
I’ve always wanted to play out a 24/7 fantasy where I am objectified and used for various tasks and put into bondage for implementation or safe keeping in between chores. It would be a marathon of sorts and require a lot of planning, but think the result would be great!
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
Turn around, put your hands behind your back, and open up for a gag!
What is Eskimo ice?
I have no idea, but it sounds colder than the ice in my fridge.