The Secrets to Great Sex Every “Good Girl” Must Know

Having great sex can be intimidating. The pressure to perform well for your partner while looking perfect can be a bit overwhelming. I remember being young, inexperienced, and terrified. I had a hard time picturing sex as “fun”. Which was extremely frustrating because everywhere I looked, sex was portrayed as this amazing, exhilarating activity.

It absolutely wasn’t easy getting past all of that, but these are the top 5 tips that I use personally to open myself up to getting a little “crazier” in bed.

1. Relax - Probably the most important part of sex. If you aren’t relaxed, everything is extremely tight and dry – which is absolutely the worst. Let yourself relax into your skin without worrying so much about how certain things are going to feel. You’ll be able to really enjoy every moment.
2. Use Lube – I know a lot of my friends judged me when I told them I was using lube. It was almost like a competition: who was naturally the “wettest”. But I learned pretty quickly that using lube made everything so much easier. Especially if you can find one that really works well for your body. Personally, I enjoy lubes that aren’t water-based. Be careful though, if you’re using condoms you’ll want to make sure that the lube is “condom-safe”.
   
3. Experiment with Toys – I know it can be a little awkward to talk about using toys during sex. But if you can muster up the courage, you won’t regret it. I learned to start small. Picking something as simple as a vibrating cock ring can really amp up your sex life. The added stimulation really helps to bring you to the big “O”.
4. Be Vocal – I used to find myself keeping my mouth shut during sex. Occasionally, I’d let out a little moan, but nothing too crazy. If I wanted something, I’d just try to move by body in a way that would sort of adjust things. I found out that it actually works a lot better to just tell your partner what you want. I’ve found that the best way goes a little like this:
   
   “Oh my god, that feels amazing. If you go a little faster and touch my clit, you’ll make me come”
   
   You encourage your partner while telling them what you want. It turns both of you on even more, and bam. Just like that, you’ve set yourselves up for a mind-blowing orgasm.
5. 
   Role Play – I’m still learning how to incorporate this into my sex life, but the small amounts that I’ve tried have really done the trick. There’s something really exhilarating about pretending to be someone or something else, especially during sex. You can absolutely start small – in fact, I started role playing in my own mind before bringing it up to my partner. It’s easy. Pick a theme. Sexy school teacher and student. Play the scene in your mind while you’re having sex with your partner, and mimic any positions or movements that you imagine. From there, you can probably move on to letting your partner in on the scene. That takes it to the next level. There are so many different scenes you can choose from, leading to an unlimited amount of new sexual experiences with your partner.
6. A really great way to transition into acting out your roleplay scenes is to purchase a couple of cute outfits. You absolutely can’t go wrong with a sexy catsuit, or even some simple lingerie with some kitty ears or black frame glasses.

A lot of these tips were really far out of my comfort zone when I first started having sex. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s that going a little bit out of your comfort zone can really pay off. Sex is supposed to fun. It’s supposed to be kinky. And you’re supposed to really enjoy it.

And by taking some of those tips and putting them into action, you’re taking baby steps towards a fulfilling, fantastic sex life.